New rules for the modern mother of the bride

The mother of the bride used to be such a simple, pleasurable role, but with today’s multi-day celebrations and Insta-worthy visuals, it’s all got rather complicated. Brides editor Jade Beer lists the new rules. NB: they still include writing the cheques

Before the wedding

Former role Chief adviser.

New position ‘Team player’. And be aware: this team can – and often does – extend to the entire wedding party.

Until recently, the mother of a bride-to-be might have been expected to proffer her views on the number of tiers needed on the cake or why it’s good to have myrtle in the bridal bouquet (the emblem of love and marriage, according to royal tradition).

Now that expertise has been somewhat diluted. The bride will most likely have friends, colleagues and an army of social-media followers who have taught themselves the art of calligraphy, can design a wedding website to keep guests up to date on the itinerary and even grow and style the wedding flowers. All this greatly reduces the areas in which she will actively be seeking her mother’s advice. To stay involved, today’s mums must log on to that wedding website or ภาพการตกแต่งบ้าน they’ll spend their time playing catch-up with the big decisions (even though they may be paying for them).

The mother of the bride (MOB) can also expect to see her name on a photo shoot-style call sheet next to a list of jobs, such as finding someone to build the waffle and doughnut walls – a towering help-yourself sugar buffet that American brides started to get excited about last year and that are now making their way into British receptions. 

The bride may want one on day two of the wedding weekend as part of the bridal brunch. It sounds OTT, but London-based planner Bruce Russell, whose clients’ budgets start at £200,0000, says today’s weddings are ‘small theatre productions’, with social media playing a part in convincing brides that anything is possible.

On-the-day duties 

Former role Host – and second most important woman in the room. 

New position Important guest. 

Unlike the father of the bride who, in large part, has retained his traditional duties, such as delivering a heartfelt speech and walking his daughter down the aisle (even if today that’s just as likely to be in an urban industrial space or on a beach), the way modern weddings play out makes the MOB’s on-the-day tasks much harder to pinpoint. 

She should expect to find herself surrounded by the pros: the woman who’s been hired to let off the colourful smoke flares, the full film and photographic team launching drones and the live illustrator busy sketching everyone in their finery. So what exactly will she be doing? Not sitting at the top table, I’m afraid. Because in all probability there won’t be one. 

Instead, she can expect to be standing with a carton of street food from vendors who have been shipped in at great expense from London’s Borough Market (cheese fondues or tacos are popular right now) or eating family feast-style in a tepee village, because her daughter wanted the full festival wedding and, yes, it is raining. Which means mum’s outfit choices are more crucial than ever. 

The outfit 

Once A well-cut shift and dress coat from Matches with coordinating accessories. 

Now Double the budget, and ภาพการตกแต่งบ้าน then some. 

She’s going to need multiple choices – and shoes she can hike in. Even if the wedding is relatively traditional, the bride’s mother may be required to make an outfit change from tailored during the day to black tie for the evening.

I’ve been to weddings where the dress code was ‘couture’ and ‘don’t disappoint’, so she should consider herself lucky if she avoids those. This is where keeping a close eye on that wedding website is vital. Will the wedding guests be dining outside? Sitting on a picnic blanket? Will the MOB be taking part in specialist activities? (I recently came across a bride and groom who staged a full jousting competition for their guests.) Is it a humanist ceremony that involves traipsing through the woods? Or, as is now becoming the thing, ภาพการตกแต่งบ้าน will the newlyweds’ parents be forgoing the standard receiving line in favour of the bridal march, which sees the entire bridal party stride en masse from the ceremony to the reception? 

Please note the essential point about shoes she can actually walk in. She will also need to get her game face ready for when her daughter announces her look: it might be a jumpsuit, a sharp crepe tux or bridal separates that reveal a flash of midriff. 

What do you think?

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